| Sobriety will
necessarily have its ups and downs, its good times and its bad
times, if only because we live in a world which we are inseparably
joined. One doesn't always sustain sobriety at the same level.
There are fluctuations, shocks and setbacks which, when addressed
within the context of the A.A. program, so not in themselves
imperil the totality of one's sobriety. The Dry Drunk Syndrome
is a term that should not be used as a catch-all when one has
a bad day or a bump in life throws us for a while. Those are
ups and downs that everyone experiences and shouldn't be labeled
to be anything more than what they truly are. The Dry Drunk
is a condition far more serious than the highs and lows of our
day-to-day existence.
The phrase "dry drunk" has
two significant words for the alcoholic. "Dry" refers to the
abstinence from drinking, whereas "drunk" signifies a deeply
pathological condition resulting from the use of alcohol in
the past. Taken together these words suggest intoxication without
alcohol. Since intoxication comes from the Greek word for poison,
"dry drunk" implies a state of mind and a mode of behavior that
are poisonous to the alcoholic's well being.
OBVIOUS TRAITS Persons experiencing
a full-blown DRY DRUNK are, for that period, removed from the
world of sobriety; they fail, for whatever reason, to accept
the necessary conditions for sober living. Their mental and
emotional homes are chaotic, their approach to everyday living
is unrealistic, and their behavior, both verbal and physical,
is unacceptable.
This lack of sober realism
manifests itself in many ways.
1. Grandiosity, put very simply,
is an exaggeration of one's own importance. This can be demonstrated
either in terms of one's strengths or weaknesses. In either
case it is blatantly self- seeking or self-serving, putting
oneself at the center of attention, from the "big me" who has
ask the answers to the "poor me" whose cup of self-pity runneth
over and wants all of our attention.
2. Judgmentalism is mutually
related to grandiosity. It means that the alcoholic is prone
to make value judgments - strikingly inappropriate evaluations
- usually in terms of "goodness" or "badness".
3. Intolerance leaves no room
for delaying the gratification of personal desires. This is
accomplished by gross confusion of priorities with the result
that a mere whim or passing fancy is mistakenly given more importance
than genuine personal needs.
4. Impulsivity is the result
of intolerance or the lack of ability to delay gratification
of personal desires. Impulsivity describes behavior which is
heedless of the ultimate consequence for self or others.
5. Indecisiveness is related
to impulsitivity in the sense that while the latter takes no
realistic account of the consequences of the actions, the former
precludes effective action altogether. Indecisiveness stems
from an unrealistic exaggeration of the negative possibilities
of the action ; so one wavers between two or more possible courses
of action, more times than not- nothing gets done.
These conditions, grandiosity,
judgmentalism, intolerance ,impulsivity, and indecisiveness
taken separately or together can lead to the following: a) Mood
swings, which are unrelated to the circumstances to which one
tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on what they want others
to think is the cause of the mood swing, when it isn't that
at all. More often than not it is something much deeper than
the reason given. Inversely it can also be something totally
insignificant with no substance at all (e.g. the sugar is too
sweet or the donut is too round). Any excuse will do. b) Unable
to demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and without constraint.
No emotional spontaneity, no genuine spark. c) Introspection.
A very healthy thing to do is difficult if not impossible for
the "dry drunk". It means to look inward to one's examining
each thought and desire, which is linked directly to one's attitude.
d) Detachment. Become aloof, display indifference, don't care
one way or the other, no special likes or dislikes, they withdraw.
e) Self-absorption- with a tendency to call attention to whatever
they have attained. Narcissism which is quite simply self-love.
They become pompous asses. f) The inability to appreciate or
enjoy themselves - nothing satisfies. g) Evidence of disorganization,
is easily distracted, complains of boredom, and nothing seems
to fit. h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of wistful yearning for
something of the past, such as freedom from care associated
(falsely) with drinking, bars, drinking associates, and friends;
the music, blue lights, and tinkle of the ice cubes in a glass
in the neighborhood saloon. i) There can be a kind of romanticism,
which includes unrealistic valuations of lifestyles and character
traits which can be and usually are objectively dangerous to
one's sobriety. j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and wishful
thinking are very much in evidence in the dry drunk syndrome
as the individual slips farther and farther from reality.
Since the abnormality of the
alcoholic's attitudes and behavior during the drinking career
is generally recognized, the persistence or these character
traits after stopping drinking (or the reappearance after an
interlude of sobriety) is equally abnormal.
The term "dry drunk" therefore
denotes the absences of favorable change in the attitudes and
behavior of the alcoholic who is not drinking, or the reversion
of these by the alcoholic who has experienced a period of successful
sobriety. From these conditions, it is to be inferred that the
alcoholic is experiencing discomfort in life.
The self-destructive attitudes
and behavior of the dry drunk alcoholic are different in degree
but not in kind. The alcoholic, when drinking, has learned to
rely on a deeply inadequate, radically immature approach to
solving life's problems. And this is exactly what one sees in
the dry drunk.
ANALYSIS OF DRY DRUNK BEHAVIOR
The alcoholic who rationalizes their own irresponsible behavior
are also likely to find fault in the attitudes and behavior
of others. Although not denying their own shortcomings, they
attempt to escape notice by cataloging in great detail the transgressions
of others.
The classic maneuver of the
dry drunk is over-reaction. The alcoholic may attach a seemingly
disproportionate intensity of feeling to an ordinary insignificant
event or mishap.
Some alcoholics who experience
the dry drunk seem to know all the answers, are seldom at a
loss for words when it comes to self-diagnosis. Their knowledge
is quite impressive, their apparent insight, as opposed to genuine
insight, is convincing.
CORRECTIVE MEASURES: Those
undergoing a dry drunk lead impoverished lives. They experience
severe limitations to grow,, to mature, and benefit from the
possibilities that life offers. They lack the freshness and
spontaneity that genuinely sober alcoholics manifest. Their
life is a closed system, attitudes and behaviors are stereotyped,
repetitive, and consequently predictable.
Alcoholics learn early that
humility and a power greater than them- selves are the bedrock
for a genuine and productive sobriety. An unusual measure of
self-discipline must accompany the ego deflation process. Needed
is self-discipline in honesty, patience and responsibility towards
the recovery process [and acceptance of their disease]. [To
improve long term goals of sobriety be aware of mental stressors,
get more involved in the recovery program, get active in the
12 steps, get and use a sponsor, talk things out.] Hopefully.
they will begin to appreciate the ironic folly of those alcoholics
who think life has suddenly become manageable again; whose sanity
is beyond question; who see no need of turning their lives over
to a power greater then them- selves; who find personal inventories
unnecessary since they are seldom in the wrong and are no longer
subject to the embarrassing need of repairing the wrongs they
have done.
When dry drunk alcoholics
awaken to this irony that they, still unmanageable, still powerless,
are the ones who have made this remarkable "recovery," they
may feel sufficiently mortified to want to change.
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